Eric's Blog

Just Ask

Everyone, including leaders (that includes me), has a hard time doing this. I mean we are behind a deadline, or starting a new project, or just have to much to do and will not ask anyone to help. Part of the reason is our personality type but here are a few other reasons and what happens when we do not ask:

Reasons we do not ask...

• We don't want to bother other people. You know...they are busy too so why bother them.
• We are afraid they might say no.
• They have said no before.
• We think we can do it better ourselves. Otherwise know as, "If you want it done right do it yourself."
• We don't have time...I mean we are already running behind.

What happens when we don't ask...

• Obviously we do ALL the work ourselves and in the process become tired and stressed out.
• We miss opportunities to build relationships with others.
• It kills the creative process.
• We miss an opportunity to mentor someone.
• We miss an opportunity for others to use their God-given gifts.
• We take longer to get the work done. But that doesn't matter because we did it better, even if it did take longer right???
• We miss the chance for others to take ownership in the ministry by not allowing them the opportunity to participate. This is huge!!!
• We don't allow other ideas, hands, heads, muscle, etc. into the task. The task could have been completed better, faster, or a different way if we allowed them to help.
• We become tired and stressed out.
• We become self-centered. We start saying things like, "Nobody cares about this." "Nobody cares about me." "Nobody cares about my ministry."

Nobody is helping because your did not ask. What task are you working on right now, by yourself, that someone else could help you with? Pick up the phone or send an email right now and just ask!

What are some other things that happen when we don't ask others?

What a Great Day

This morning the whole family was in Columbia, SC for the Leadership Convergence with Mark Batterson. Our children were in child care while Alisha and I were in the conference. It was great. I will be posting comments from Mark's sessions later.

We stopped at Sonic's and ate outside. Seth got to feed some birds. While we were they I recognized someone whom I went to church with at Cornerstone in Anderson, SC over 14 years ago.

After the trip home and a nap we decided to go to the last Clemson baseball home game. We were tired but wanted to take Seth. We won 12-6. Alisha's mom and dad came alone. When we came up to the gate someone gave me two tickets. Thanks again. Seth made a friend with a cute 2.5 year old girl and they played together for several innings. You should see Seth dance between innings with the music. We had so much fun. Katie loved it and had a lot of fun too.

Seth wanted to run the bases after the game and get a baseball. Even though it was late, it was the last game so we stuck around to see what would happen. They won't let people go out on the field but right as we were getting ready to leave one of the players came up and gave Seth a baseball. Thanks Mike, you made my son's night. He carried that ball out of the stadium like it was a trophy. He said "That guy was very nice for giving me the ball." I think so too. Like I said, It was a great day. Hope yours was too.

Drive Conference: Andy Stanley Session 2

I. A Great Staff is Made Up of Great Leaders

    A. The Goal: A staff culture characterized by mutual submission.

    B. The Question: What can I do to help?

II. Best Practices for Creating a "Great Staff"

    A. Do for one what you can't do for all.

    - Symbolic leadership: I'm going to do for one what I wish I could do for everyone.

    - Fairness is the enemy of rightness.

    B. Systematize top down service.

    C. In response to your staff's key objectives, ask, "How can I help you?"

    D. Create and maintain a sustainable pace.

    - Without margin, there is no room to serve.

    - Without margin, we seek first our kingdoms.

    E. Celebrate and reward greatness when you see it.

    - What's rewarded is repeated.

    F. Confront your ego.

    - What is more important: creating a great organization or creating a name for yourself?

III. Signs that Things aren't So Great

    A. Competition between departments

    B. Double standards

    C. Loyalty lectures

    - You deserve loyalty. You win loyalty, but you don't require loyalty.

Key question to ask your staff: Do you have all the tools to do your job (ministry)?

Drive Conference Pictures

By the way, did I tell you that we went to Vegas and Chicago too? Don't tell anybody else.

Can you find Andy Stanley in this picture?

Any idea what is happening here?

Other random pictures.

Sunday Night Reflections

Notes from today's message...

To receive your inheritance...

• You must be trustworthy (1 Cor. 4:2 AMP).

• You must be faithful in the small things (Matthew 25:21; Luke 16:10-12 NLT).

• Whatever you do. Do it as unto the Lord and not unto man (Ephesians 6:7-8 NLT).

• Remember it is the Lord who rewards you. (Ephesians 6:8 NLT)

Others thoughts...

I am still pumped from the Drive conference. I can't wait for our leader's meeting on Wednesday night.

Don't forget to invite your family and friends to our water baptism service this coming Sunday. You don't want to miss this. Speaking of the water baptism service. We had one person WALK 3.5 miles to do their video testimony and others who did not show up. HMMMM, what does that say?

GroupLink is this Sunday night at 6:30 PM in the Ministry Center Building. If you would like to join a small group or just want to find out more information about small groups this event is for you. If you have already decided to join a group then make sure and attend so you can get connected and meet other people. You group's first fellowship event will be planned at this meeting.

Tomorrow I'm off to Columbia to a leadership meeting with Mark Batterson. He is the pastor of National Community Church (theaterchurch.com) in Washington, DC. I can't wait to meet him and hear what he has to say about reaching this emerging generation.

Have a great week!!!

Drive Conference: Andy Stanley Session 1

THE MULTIPLE CHOICE TEAM from Andy Stanley

"To maintain the relational integrity to operate as a team, we must choose to trust and be trustworthy."

A. Often there are unexplainable gaps between what we expect people to do and what they actually do.

        1. We choose what we place in those gaps.

        2. Our choices determine the integrity of the relationships.

        3. We can choose to fill them in with trust or suspicion.

        4. As believers we are called to trust.

B. Two things make it difficult for us to trust.

        1. Who I am.

        2. What I see.

C. There are three commitments we need to make.

        1. When there is a gap between what I expect and what I experience, I will fill it in with trust.

        2. When I observe someone filling a gap with suspicion, I will come to your defense.

        3. If what I experience begins to erode my trust, I will come directly to you about it.

"Trust cannot be sustained in a culture where individuals are not worthy or trust."

OK, that's just point 1. There is a point two, three, and conclusion but you will have to buy the CD. They may put the session on the web for you to view. If they do I will let you know.

This may have been the most powerful teaching from the Drive Conference. I mean how can we function properly as a ministry if we don't trust one another (always thinking the best) and we are not trustworthy? We can't! So here are a few of the questions you need to answer from the conclusion?

1. Are there people in your organization (ministry) that you have a difficult time trusting?

2. Is it your issue or theirs?

3. What can you do about your part?

4. What do you need to address with them about their part?

Drive Conference: Andy Stanley Session 3

I will post comments from Andy's other 2 sessions from the Drive Conference later. He was originally suppose to give a talk on Making Vision Stick but decide to go in a different direction. Instead he talked about the latest questions/thoughts he and his staff are talking about. He called this session Recent Random Thoughts on Church and Leadership.

1) To reach people no one else is reaching, we must do things no one else is doing.

Takeaway: Become preoccupied with those you haven't reached as opposed to those you are trying to keep.

2) The next generation product almost never comes from the previous generation (From the book: Focus).

What is next: You can either fight it or fund it.

Pay attention to what student ministries are doing.

Takeaway: Be a student, not a critic.

3) What do I believe is impossible to do in my field, but if it could be done would fundamentally change my business (from Future Edge)?

Takeaway: Pay attention to the people who are breaking the rules.

4) If If we were kicked out and the board brought in a new CEO, what would they do? Why shouldn't we walk out the door, come back in and do it ourselves?

"Long after our methods are not effective we are still attached to them."

Takeaway: Acknowledge what's not working. Own up to why you are not willing to do anything about it.

5) When your memories exceed your dreams, the end is near.

"Never be satisfied with the status quo."

"Momentum can carry you into irrelevance."

"Keep the vision out in front."

Takeaway: Don't let success or momentum overshadow your vision.

More from the Drive Conference throughout the rest of the week.

How a Man Prepares His Sons for Life

If you are a parent it is important to include in your reading books on parenting. We need to always be learning especially in the area of our life themes. I have not done a very good job of being a learner when it comes to marriage or parenting but I decided that this year I will make sure books on these subjects are include in my reading. Here are a few quotes from How a Man Prepares His Sons for Life...

• "Much of what's involved in preparing our sons for life comes down to telling them what we think and feel."
• Fathers..."Be visible, be supportive, and be available for your sons emotional needs."
• "We discipline our sons in order to teach what's right, not just to "blast" them for irritating us by doing wrong."
• "85% of a child's personality is formed by the time he or she is six years old."
• "There is no future in any job. The future is in the person who holds the job."
• "To teach our sons how to serve will be the basis, or the foundation, in a greater purpose-achieving success in whatever profession they choose."
• "A powerful esteem-builder is your son's ability to master new skills, receive recognition for a job well done and gain confidence to do a particular task entirely on his own."
• "Creativity begins with breaking your routine and not being afraid to try out new things."
• "Whatever you choose to do, the best thing you can spend on your son is time!"
• "Scientific studies that tell us: the more nurturing the father, the more masculine the son."
• "The greatest gift a man can give his son is to love his mother."  WOW!!!
• "When a man can't love, he can't lead."

To become a better parent you have to be intentional about it. It will not just happen. That means you need to read a book on parenting, attend a conference, or pick up a series on parenting at your church.

Sunday Night Relections

Here are some thoughts from this past week and the week ahead....  

•       

         

• Katie turned one year old on Saturday. Here are a few pictures from her party. That is a great looking family if I have to say so myself. What a gorgeous birthday girl. God has truly blessed us!!!



• God has an inheritance for you. The question is, "Will you do what it takes to receive it?" Are you ready to grow up and become a mature growing Christian? Galatians 4: 2 tells us that God has locked up your inheritance in somebody else until you are mature enough to handle it. So who is challenging you? Who is holding you accountable? Who have you submitted your life to? Are you committed to a local church? When you submit yourself to someone and start to grow spiritually God will release your inheritance through them.



• I am so excited about this week. I am going to the Drive Conference at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. The great thing is we are taking 6 of our staff with us. What makes this great. Right now I am the only paid staff but every ministry leader at New Life is considered staff because that is what they function as. I believe in our vision, I believe in our leaders, and I believe in what God has called me to do. So to show our appreciation and our commitment to the vision and our leaders we are sending 6 of our leaders to this conference with all expenses paid. You must sow where you want to go. When is the last time you made an investment in your staff? The conference starts tomorrow night with Andy Stanley. I can't wait, it's going to be great.



• Next week is the last week of the Our Inheritance series before our water baptism service on the 18th. If you have signed up for the water baptism service and did not see Alisha after today's service please get in touch with us as soon as possible.



• Also, if you are interested in becoming a small group leader please let us know. The training started tonight.

Have a great week!!!

Where are the Men?

I have faithful ladies that read the blog and leave comments but none recently from the men. (By the way, there are some great comments about the ministry.) OK men, what’s up? I’m calling you out. Are you timid about expressing your opinions? Are you afraid to be vulnerable and let other people know your struggles and what God is doing in your life? Are you too busy?

What I am saying is men; I would like to hear from you. What are some things you would like me to blog about? What is God doing in your life? How can I help you grow? Hope to hear from you.